News Shorts and Other Busyness

Mammonchester United FC

Squall 11, Autumn 1995, pg. 12.

Manchester United’s recently published accounts for the last financial year show that their sales of merchandising soared 65 per cent in just one year, rising from £14.2m to £23.5m.

Since being floated on the stock market in 1991, Manchester United’s share price has tripled with recent sharp increases having seen a quadrupling of the share price between 1993 and the end of the financial year in April 1995. Manchester United have three football kits, one of which has a design change every year fuelling cynicism that the merchandising department are doing all they can to milk the market of team devotion. Entrance prices have risen 13 per cent since the end of last year, accompanying a 10 per cent increase in profits from gate receipts over the last financial year.

According to Andy Walsh, secretary of the Independent Manchester United Supporters’ Association: “It’s a scandal. They promised us there was going to be a freeze on prices for two years. They’re pricing the ordinary fan out of the market.” According to the vice-chairman of the Association, Johnny Flacks: “In the past five years there’s been a 300 per cent increase in prices.”

In a remarkable piece of instant Karma, Mammonchester United were dumped out of the League Cup by York City on the day the accounts were published.

However, put another way, the walking adverts for Sharp Electronics were beaten in the Coca-Cola cup by the walking adverts for Portacabin. Hurrah! Hurrah!